Facing our Battles

God does not want us to live in fear. He does not want us to worry - in fact that's a sin. Okay, then, why am I so terrible about living in fear and worrying about things? I have struggled my whole life at letting irrational fears creep into my mind, letting them manifest until I am just sick with fear and worry. I hate it, and I try my best to control it, but sometimes it gets the best of me. For instance, if Jonathan leaves the house to run errands, and 5 minutes later, I hear an ambulance...then my mind will automatically fear that Jonathan has been in a wreck. Then...if I call him on his cell phone and he doesn't answer, oh my...I start to panic that he's too hurt to answer and it's bad... See what I mean? That's just one example, and it's ridiculous, I know.

I just have this control issue, I guess, and it's tough to sort of be a control freak when so much of life - well most things in life - are out of my control. Today, I got very sad news that one of my high school friends, Jake, who suffered from cancer for nearly 3 years, passed away. Yesterday, I got an email that another friend from high school (Stephanie) - who is 3 years younger than me - has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and has been given only 18 months to live. Then, this morning, mom told me about another young woman (about my age) in our community that died of cancer.

Okay...so how do I hear these things, especially about people who are "my age" and go on about my life without worrying and fearing that it will happen to me?! If I get a headache, will I automatically worry that it's a brain tumor? Probably! Oh, it's such a struggle when you are an anxious person.

Jonathan's dad (Clifton), who is a Baptist preacher, visited us yesterday, and as I talked to him about my sadness (about my friends) and my own struggles with worry and fear, he reminded me of a few things. He reminded me that we are each "appointed" a time to live and a time to die, and that we have no control over when that time will come for us. God already knows, and we must find peace in that. We can't spend every waking minute worrying about things that may not even happen. Clifton was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was given 3 to 6 months to live, had brain surgery, and had been given no hope from his doctors.......22 years ago this month!

Through Clifton's story, I am reminded that God indeed does have a plan for us; that He is the ultimate physician; that if He's not ready for us, no diagnosis can take us. I am also reminded that worry and fear are of the devil! They are feelings that only SATAN can give! They are not of God. The Bible says that "God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and a sound mind." So, when I feel anxious and fearful, it's obviously just the devil getting me right in my weak spot! Do you have a weak spot, too? I pray that God will help me to overcome Satan and his mission to destroy my spirit through fear and worry!

For my friend, Jake, his fight is over. Cancer took his life, but I pray that God took his soul. For Stephanie, she has been given little hope, but I know - from my own father in law - that grim outcomes can change.

So, will you do me a favor and please pray for Jake's family - that they will have peace and comfort during this time of grief; and pray for Stephanie and her family as they deal with this horrible diagnosis - that God would heal her body, and that she and her family would also find peace and comfort and hope in the midst of this?

I experienced one of life's dreaded tragedies when I lost London. People all around us are experiencing tragedies, too. When we feel helpless in so many ways, we can pray. Sometimes that's about all we can do, but I am so thankful that it's that easy. God is always there - ready and waiting.