Memorial Day

The wounds may heal, but the scars never go away.

Angel Addison

Have you ever felt like God was playing tricks on you? Do you ever feel that he's dangling a carrot in front of you, only to pull it away just as you think you can grab it? When outlooks are grim, we hold on to any glimmer of hope, and it's so disappointing when our hope is shattered.

Yesterday: She's going to be fine. Miracles are happening. She's making progress. We have hope.

Today: She has emergency surgery. Her intestines are beyond repair. There is nothing more that can be done. The family watches as they "keep her comfortable". She's gone.

I've been there when you just want to know "why". I've been there when everything looked like it was going to be "fine", only for the worst and most unexpected thing to happen. I've been there in the dark moments of loss, the shock, the emotional pain that makes you want to just die.

Today, my heart is so heavy for the Blair family today as they say good-bye to their precious 3-year-old daughter, Addison Jo. Since December, Addison has fought for her life against a rare cancer called neuroblastoma. Through her struggles and her story, Addison has touched thousands of people in our community, across the nation, and even in other countries. I am blessed to say that I have known Addison's family my whole life, and work with two of her aunts and one of her uncles. She is truly a hero in so many ways.

I ache for Addison's family - for her sweet, loving, and God-fearing parents; for her baby brother who will only know his big sister through stories and pictures; to both sets of loving grandparents who will grieve for themselves and for their children; for her aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends who were beyond blessed to know her, to love her, and to be loved by her. And for those people who were praying for her daily and supporting her in immeasurable ways. I am just sad.

Regardless of the pain, there is no doubt that God has used Addison in mighty ways, and I trust that He will continue to use Addison's family and her story in mighty ways.

When I get to heaven, I will be sure to ask God why he takes children. I want to know. Until then, I will find comfort in the fact that Addison, London, and all the other precious children who have gone before us, are running and playing and laughing and singing at Jesus' feet. I will trust that one day those questions will be answered, and that we will all hold our children again - with no cancer, no heart defects, no accidents or colds...just perfection and joy and bliss for an eternity.

For that - and even for that alone - I will praise the One who gave us our children in the first place. I will praise the One who shared our sweet angels with us - if only for a little while.

Visit Addison's Caring Bridge page at www.caringbridge.org/visit/addisonjoblair

Already???

My baby - I mean, my big boy - lost his first tooth! I can't believe he's already that big! He even pulled it himself!!

Do you know what the goin' rate for a tooth is these days? Well, Jagger's Papaw told him he should definitely get about $20 for that tooth! I wanted to get my dad for telling him that! The tooth fairy brought a whoppin' $5 because the first tooth is special! I think she was totally fair, and Jagger was totally happy with $5!!

He told me last night - as he was jumping as high as he could possibly jump on the bed - that "ever since he lost a tooth, he can jump way higher!!!"

It's amazing what losing a tooth will do for you!