Remembering Nana

Three years ago today, one of the most wonderful, influential people in my life went to be with Jesus. It was my Nana. Nana was about 115 pounds soaking wet, funny, had a country accent, a great laugh, and loved to smoke big long Virginia Slims - you know, the cigarettes that look like foot long straws!! Oh, and she kept them in the freezer, too, because she said it kept them "fresh"! So, yes, you might go to look for some ice cream or a frozen pizza, and you'd see a carton of Virginia Slims - ha ha!! I have to say that smoking was her only vice - at least the only one that I know of! Nana was fun-loving, accepting, forgiving, kind, and loved Jesus more than anything in this world. Nana made such an impression on me by putting God first, forgiving others, and by giving thanks even when life didn't seem to treat her too kindly.

You see, Nana lived in a small trailer in a trailer park, she had an 8th grade education, worked many different jobs throughout her life, but eventually ended up keeping children in her home for about the last 10 years of her life. Nana's trailer stood out as a cozy, inviting little trailer. In summer, she flooded her landscape with flowers - especially yellow ones (that was her favorite color). She had white wicker furniture on her porch, wind chimes hanging, and a few other little "Nana" trinkets here and there that she either found or that we had given her. In her home, you would find framed religious poems and art work that reflected her love of Jesus and the cross. Everything was so neatly arranged. Although Nana didn't have anything of a lot of value, she took pride in everything she had. You could never go in Nana's house without smelling a wonderful candle burning in her kitchen, and you couldn't stay long without being greeted by her Coo Coo Clock. Oh...the coo coo clock! We loved that thing! We also loved her sweet tea and her collection of magnets from every unique place that she or any other family member had been!

Nana was a wonderful cook. She always fixed the "same ole' thing" as she used to say, but it was what we loved! No matter how incredible it smelled, and even though it was always great, Nana always said, "Well, I hope it's fit to eat." Macaroni shells and cheese (aka...the best food on the planet!), chicken casserole, corn, sweet carrots, fried apples, green beans, rolls... Of course, it was fit to eat!! For Thanksgiving every year, about 20 people would gather in her little trailer, sit around her table (which was in her kitchen), and we would have the best time! Nana loved her family. Her children (my dad, Steve, and my aunt, Cindy) and her grandchildren were her pride and joy.

When I went to Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, I was able to see Nana every week (she lived in Bowling Green). We would have the best talks. Nana was as fun to talk to as one of my best college friends at the time. She knew how to listen without judging, and she trusted me with her deepest feelings. During a time when God was often on the back burner in my life (college), Nana reminded me of His love and His goodness. She would talk about how good He had been to her. She'd say, "Honey, I don't have much, but He's given me everything I have, and it's everything I need." She never complained. Although she would have liked to have had "more", Nana had a way of being content, and she never failed to give God the glory for everything in her life. She trusted Him with everything she was. We even used to laugh at her because she never would make any plans - I mean, ANY plans - without saying, "Lord willin..." I'd say, "NANA! Don't say that!" and she'd say, "Well, honey, it's the truth! We're not guaranteed our next breath! If it's the Lord's will, then I'll be there." Although I teased her then, I realize now that Nana had the right idea. She had it all figured out.

The last time that I visited Nana before she was bedridden and nearly unconscious, Jagger was about 18 months old. She adored her only great grandchild. She thought he was hilarious and that he looked just like my dad (he did look just like my dad at that age!). Nana, at that visit (just a few days before she died) was sitting in her big blue recliner and told me that she was afraid that her cancer was spreading (as she rubbed knots on her ribs that had recently appeared). She then went on to say that she wanted to be around to "see that baby". That baby she was talking about was London, who was due that September. A few days later, as I sat by her side in the bed - knowing she just had days or even hours with us - I told Nana that if our baby was a girl, we were going to name her after her. Nana just rubbed my hand and smiled and said in a soft, faint voice, "Oh, Ashlee, that is such an honor. You don't know what that means to me." At the time, we didn't know what our little one was, and our lives certainly hadn't been turned upside down with the news of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. However, we knew that we wanted to honor Nana by naming our child after her.

The funny part of that is that Nana's real name was - are you ready for this??? Cleo Patra Conner! I'm not even kidding. Bless her heart...her mother named her Cleo Patra!! We'd tease and call her "Queen of the Nile"!! So, I wasn't too keen on naming my daughter Cleo or Patra, for that matter. But...I got a little creative. We loved Chloe, so we just flipped Cleo around and named our daughter London Cloe (without the 'h') after my Nana. So, now when I think of my wonderful Nana, I also think of my London. And when I see London's full name, I think of my Nana.

I was so blessed to have a Nana like her! I miss her! But...I know I will see her again in heaven. I also believe that she is loving her precious great-granddaughter, London Cloe, right now! Nana got her wish...she got to "see that baby" after all...just in a better place!